Yet behind the night,
Waits for the great unborn, somewhere far
Some white tremendous daybreak.
-Rupert Brooke
She looked at him as if seeing him for the first time. Right across the table was the guy she thought she always wanted. But as she struggled to keep herself together, she couldn't help but wonder, "who is this guy?"
A million thoughts raced through her mind and a storm of emotions were raging somewhere deep within her. And so she drank the beer he handed to her, hoping it would loosen her wired nerves. Still, she can't shake the feeling that somehow, she got this all wrong.
She tried hard to avoid staring at him for fear that her mouth might hang open at the sight of this stranger. She's stunned. And that's when she knew... He was not at all the man she thought he was. Not even close.
Light has slowly broken through... She felt as though she has woken up from a deep slumber, squinting at the searing light as her eyes adjusted to it. And then, the beauty of everything awash in brightness.
So she did what she had to do. It was time to open her eyes and see things as it is. The dream has ended, the illusion has faded away... And though her heart felt cold, she welcomed the warmth of the light of truth.
Thursday, February 22, 2007
Wednesday, February 07, 2007
Licensed Diver
In life, there are times when you have to think things through. When you take the time to examine all angles before you make a decision. You play all possible scenarios in your mind and prepare for every single one of it as best you can. This is very essential in making choices. Especially when you don't want to make a mistake.
But there are times when things just happen. Against all odds and probably against your better judgement you land right smack at the center of something that was never in your plans at all. It is often at these times that we are brought to regret or, if you're luck, something wonderful.
Do things really happen for a reason?
Despite living in the 21st century, I cannot help but wonder about that old saying. But, perhaps, there is some truth to it. Because even despite careful scrutiny and planning, something does always happen that are out of our control. You kiss on the first date even if you didn't plan to, you blurt out something you never thought of saying, you missed a turn on the street and ended up running into someone... And almost always, there proves to be a reason behind such twists.
Then again, there are those times when we cannot make sense of things that happen. It's puzzling, really. And we go on wondering what could the reason be? More often than not, the reason would eventually turn out to be to teach you something. That is, I know, such a cliche. But there is just no other way to say it.
Paolo Coelho once said, "lessons are repeated until they are learned". This is the thought that always comes to my mind whenever I come to a dead end and just can't figure out why this certain something happened for no apparent reason. Turns out ol' Paulo knew what he was talking about. He was probably as stubborn as we are now.
But what about those other times when you are ambushed by a choice? I call those moments, "dive sensation". It's like standing on the edge of a ledge before diving. You stand there wanting to jump in and dive at the same time being scared of doing it. You know that if you stand there longer you will only feel more afraid and backing out would somehow always make you feel unfulfilled.
It is at these moments that the solution is simply to take the plunge. To just do it. Do whatever it is that you feel you want or need to do. Dive into the unknown. And sometimes, it is then that you will know.
But there are times when things just happen. Against all odds and probably against your better judgement you land right smack at the center of something that was never in your plans at all. It is often at these times that we are brought to regret or, if you're luck, something wonderful.
Do things really happen for a reason?
Despite living in the 21st century, I cannot help but wonder about that old saying. But, perhaps, there is some truth to it. Because even despite careful scrutiny and planning, something does always happen that are out of our control. You kiss on the first date even if you didn't plan to, you blurt out something you never thought of saying, you missed a turn on the street and ended up running into someone... And almost always, there proves to be a reason behind such twists.
Then again, there are those times when we cannot make sense of things that happen. It's puzzling, really. And we go on wondering what could the reason be? More often than not, the reason would eventually turn out to be to teach you something. That is, I know, such a cliche. But there is just no other way to say it.
Paolo Coelho once said, "lessons are repeated until they are learned". This is the thought that always comes to my mind whenever I come to a dead end and just can't figure out why this certain something happened for no apparent reason. Turns out ol' Paulo knew what he was talking about. He was probably as stubborn as we are now.
But what about those other times when you are ambushed by a choice? I call those moments, "dive sensation". It's like standing on the edge of a ledge before diving. You stand there wanting to jump in and dive at the same time being scared of doing it. You know that if you stand there longer you will only feel more afraid and backing out would somehow always make you feel unfulfilled.
It is at these moments that the solution is simply to take the plunge. To just do it. Do whatever it is that you feel you want or need to do. Dive into the unknown. And sometimes, it is then that you will know.
ilusione
There is something so mysteriously captivating about illusions that hold one so tightly in its grasp... Having deemed myself a dreamer, I am certainly no stranger to illusions. That certain something that deceives the senses or mind that it takes you and whips you away...
When all you can hear in your ears is the beating of your heart, there is little to do but be sucked right into the vortex of an illusion. You grasp at all strings of hope and from there paint a thousand pictures of a happy ending. Somehow you start believing that there is hope. And even when all those around you hammer you with the reality, you feel that what little hope you have is worth holding on. Never knowing that hope borne out of illusion is nothing more than a lie.
Based on personal experience, illusions often start when we paint a certain picture of what we want in our minds and hearts. We become so gripped by that certain picture that we often fit anything or anyone unto that mold. Without our knowing it, we've lost ourselves in a deception of our own design. Illusions, are quite simply, something that appears to be one thing when it is in fact another.
There's another word for illusion--trickery. I have always liked the word illusion better. I liked the ring of it. And yes, I am a willing victim of illusions for more than once. And I know that even under its spell, there comes a time when you realize that the better part of it was make-believe.
It is then that one can either be stuck in make-believe or grasp reality and move on. I am for the latter. I'm not saying it's easy, hell no. I prefer to think of it as somewhat like watching a very good movie complete with all the special effects. It can capture you and break your heart, but you know that the special effects are computer generated. And even when you're crying your heart out, you know that it's not real. Then as the credits roll, you walk out of the movie theater and think to yourself, "life goes on."
And, indeed, it does.
When all you can hear in your ears is the beating of your heart, there is little to do but be sucked right into the vortex of an illusion. You grasp at all strings of hope and from there paint a thousand pictures of a happy ending. Somehow you start believing that there is hope. And even when all those around you hammer you with the reality, you feel that what little hope you have is worth holding on. Never knowing that hope borne out of illusion is nothing more than a lie.
Based on personal experience, illusions often start when we paint a certain picture of what we want in our minds and hearts. We become so gripped by that certain picture that we often fit anything or anyone unto that mold. Without our knowing it, we've lost ourselves in a deception of our own design. Illusions, are quite simply, something that appears to be one thing when it is in fact another.
There's another word for illusion--trickery. I have always liked the word illusion better. I liked the ring of it. And yes, I am a willing victim of illusions for more than once. And I know that even under its spell, there comes a time when you realize that the better part of it was make-believe.
It is then that one can either be stuck in make-believe or grasp reality and move on. I am for the latter. I'm not saying it's easy, hell no. I prefer to think of it as somewhat like watching a very good movie complete with all the special effects. It can capture you and break your heart, but you know that the special effects are computer generated. And even when you're crying your heart out, you know that it's not real. Then as the credits roll, you walk out of the movie theater and think to yourself, "life goes on."
And, indeed, it does.
Valley of Misplaced Contraceptives
In a time and generation of sexually open individuals, it seems that everything is possible. People can have sex without a relationship or, in some instances, have sex without even knowing anything about the other. And if we are to be completely liberal about all this, we are told that that's fine as long as we practice "safe sex".
There are a dozens of available contraceptives and many more methods of contraception, all of which guarantee a certain percentage of "safety". The medical society and even the religious sector have taken it upon themselves to teach and preach us what constitutes the hazards of sex and how to avoid them. And in all the brochures that have been printed to educate us over the years, we should all be rest assured that we know how to avoid those so-call hazards of sex.
I, for one, have used a couple of those contraceptives, read countless brochures and have generally escaped the "hazards" of sex. All except for one that that have never, in all the brochures that I have read, been mentioned. The dreaded emotional attachment that all vulnerable individuals out there are in danger of.
Is there ever really "safe sex"?
There are countless tests and checklists, even guides to having safe sex all in the hopes of protecting people from disease or unwanted children. There are condoms, diaphragms, pills, injections and whatever else they've invented to keep from having STDs or the occasional lovechild but what's to protect the heart in all this?
Sure, some can do it with the gusto of a dog looking for a mate and when it's over, scratch it off and move on to the next. But some of us, cannot just scratch it off and move on unscathed. We are left wondering and hearts aching.
It probably might have been easier if there was a brochure on this. A pill to keep the mind from wondering and a condom to shield the heart. But, sadly, there is none. "Safe sex" is an illusion. Whoever invented that term should have his balls cut off. Because there is no such thing as "safe sex". Reality brings in more pain than STD.
And so, we lie there, long after our beds are left empty... Yes, they might've saved the world from AIDS. You used proper contraception, you are safe from disease or an unwanted child. But the ache that it leaves you with, can kill you long before the AIDS ever will.
There are a dozens of available contraceptives and many more methods of contraception, all of which guarantee a certain percentage of "safety". The medical society and even the religious sector have taken it upon themselves to teach and preach us what constitutes the hazards of sex and how to avoid them. And in all the brochures that have been printed to educate us over the years, we should all be rest assured that we know how to avoid those so-call hazards of sex.
I, for one, have used a couple of those contraceptives, read countless brochures and have generally escaped the "hazards" of sex. All except for one that that have never, in all the brochures that I have read, been mentioned. The dreaded emotional attachment that all vulnerable individuals out there are in danger of.
Is there ever really "safe sex"?
There are countless tests and checklists, even guides to having safe sex all in the hopes of protecting people from disease or unwanted children. There are condoms, diaphragms, pills, injections and whatever else they've invented to keep from having STDs or the occasional lovechild but what's to protect the heart in all this?
Sure, some can do it with the gusto of a dog looking for a mate and when it's over, scratch it off and move on to the next. But some of us, cannot just scratch it off and move on unscathed. We are left wondering and hearts aching.
It probably might have been easier if there was a brochure on this. A pill to keep the mind from wondering and a condom to shield the heart. But, sadly, there is none. "Safe sex" is an illusion. Whoever invented that term should have his balls cut off. Because there is no such thing as "safe sex". Reality brings in more pain than STD.
And so, we lie there, long after our beds are left empty... Yes, they might've saved the world from AIDS. You used proper contraception, you are safe from disease or an unwanted child. But the ache that it leaves you with, can kill you long before the AIDS ever will.
1
Alice sighed wearily. "I think you might do something better with the time," she said, than wasting it in asking riddles that have no answers."
But what happens when you have nothing to do with your time? When you have too much time and too little to do, riddles find you. Upon waking, going to sleep, and every hour in between. And when this happens, all the time you have in your hands is spent trying to find answers.
Answers.. I have gone from being certain with every angle of my life to utter bewilderment. My life has become filled with questions, it seems that finding answers has become every waking moment's purpose. I have searched within myself to looking for it in different places. Trying but somehow always failing to find the answers to questions. Running away from them yet somehow always finding myself face to face with riddles that seem to have no answers.
Is there ever really an answer to questions we ask? Or is life supposed to be a question, a riddle, that has no answer?
True to form, I am clueless. From where I stand, I can see question marks following my every move. Somewhere between certainty and confusion, I got lost. And so her I am. In a world where I like to call my wonderland.
And while some may define wonderland as utopia, paradise, seventh-heaven, mine is a labyrinthe of my mind's twists and turns. An alternate world which I try to blindly explore. A place that exists between reality and fantasy.
If life is indeed a riddle to answer, and mine is filled with questions, maybe you can find your answers in mine. And maybe, just maybe, somewhere along the way we can all reach a place that can reconcile our reality and fantasy. Who knows? Until then, humor me, and let's all waste some time in wonderland...
But what happens when you have nothing to do with your time? When you have too much time and too little to do, riddles find you. Upon waking, going to sleep, and every hour in between. And when this happens, all the time you have in your hands is spent trying to find answers.
Answers.. I have gone from being certain with every angle of my life to utter bewilderment. My life has become filled with questions, it seems that finding answers has become every waking moment's purpose. I have searched within myself to looking for it in different places. Trying but somehow always failing to find the answers to questions. Running away from them yet somehow always finding myself face to face with riddles that seem to have no answers.
Is there ever really an answer to questions we ask? Or is life supposed to be a question, a riddle, that has no answer?
True to form, I am clueless. From where I stand, I can see question marks following my every move. Somewhere between certainty and confusion, I got lost. And so her I am. In a world where I like to call my wonderland.
And while some may define wonderland as utopia, paradise, seventh-heaven, mine is a labyrinthe of my mind's twists and turns. An alternate world which I try to blindly explore. A place that exists between reality and fantasy.
If life is indeed a riddle to answer, and mine is filled with questions, maybe you can find your answers in mine. And maybe, just maybe, somewhere along the way we can all reach a place that can reconcile our reality and fantasy. Who knows? Until then, humor me, and let's all waste some time in wonderland...
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